Friday, January 10, 2014

from The Barracks of the French Guard

Ello, my name is Jacques Perrier and I am a French Guard. I am writing you to complain about somezing I cannot silence myself over forever. The inhumane use of animals by our guard is absolutely despicable and eez in no way formidable. I am appalled that we would use poor, innocent four legged creatures in zee disgusting and degrading ways that we do. Every time we hurl a Holstein cow over zee castle wall I feel awful that they are expected to touch bed wetting English types. I do not disagree with mass slaughter, just the fact that no creature should have to endure zee pain and suffering that comes from interacting with the English.

-Jacques Perrie

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